Just when I thought I was getting good at expecting the unexpected, I’m thrown another curve ball.

I got a call this afternoon from the children’s case worker with DFCS. Barring any unforeseen hitches, the children will be going to a relative tomorrow afternoon!

I have a ton of laundry to do and I need to make sure all of their things go with them, preferably clean.

I feel like I kind of lost my last shred of hope in regards to our girls after hearing about my supervisor’s conversation with their case worker and this relative that is still holding out hope. As a result, I told my boss to go ahead and consider us “open” for another placement when these kids go home. However, she stopped me mid-sentence and said she has not given up hope and still thinks they will be coming next month. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so tired of the ups and downs.

I didn’t expect to feel this sad that these kids are leaving. I will miss them terribly. Each one is so different. I feel like I’ve given Sister a new confidence and identity in who the Lord created her to be and where she is to place her worth. Little Bear is so sweet as he follows me around babbling, “Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma,” with his big brown eyes staring deep into mine.  He hugs me so tightly, as if he knows I’m not going anywhere and he’s safe with me.  And sweet Baby Bear; his soft curls and contagious smile.  I’ll miss those slobbery kisses every morning as I open the door to his room to see him standing up in his crib with a big gummy grin on his face.  I will miss these kids.

The craziest part is, we could potentially start all over again in a few weeks.  Whether it be with our girls or other new foster children, it’s never easy and it’s never comfortable in the beginning.  It’s so stressful.  The sleepless nights, discipline issues, meeting the new birth parents, getting into a routine.  It’s exhausting for the first two weeks or so.

But, we’ve done it twice already, so I suppose we can do it again.

This is totally random, but Owen was in my bed this afternoon because he said that was where he wanted to take his nap.  I came into the hallway to check on him and I smelled poop.  (**uh-oh**)

Sure enough, he had pooped, taken it out of his underwear himself, smeared a little on my bed in the process, flushed it, and washed his hands.