After our exciting bomb shell news last Thursday evening about getting a new foster placement, I spent the entire weekend preparing; washing preemie clothes, getting the cloth diapers back out, changing batteries in the swing and bouncer, making sure all of our laundry was caught up, and just trying to get the house super clean so I can “coast” for the next week or so while we all get adjusted.

The children were originally going to be arriving this evening, sometime after 5:00pm. Then I got a call this morning informing me that I’d need to travel with my supervisor to their county (about three hours away), so I could meet with the NICU nurses and be trained on how to use the breathing monitor for the baby. I got all kinds of new details about the children, the baby, the background, etc. I was really getting excited. Even better, my mom is off on Tuesdays, so she will be able to keep the boys while I go out of town to pick up the children. All of this new stuff was just getting me more and more excited.

Then, all of a sudden, out of no where, my supervisor called me back and said the case manager is suddenly apprehensive about sending the children so far from home because the mom still has to have visitation with them on a weekly basis and it’s going to be a lot of traveling for the preemie. It’s true. So, things were up in the air for a couple of hours until I got another phone call from my supervisor again. This time, with the bad news; they’re not coming. It’s just going to be too much for the baby. He was nine weeks early and is still in the hospital as of today.

Obviously God has other plans, but I sure am disappointed. I could practically smell that newborn baby as I imagined holding his tiny five pound body. And of course I was excited about dressing that little two year old girl in the sweet dresses I’ve already been buying for my girls. I looked forward to ribbons and bows, knowing that God’s timing is perfect and everything would work out according to His plan.

That’s a little harder to swallow now.