I honestly didn’t think I’d ever have to write this post, but deep down, I always knew that our adoption of the girls was hanging by a thread…no thanks to the broken system called the Department of Family and Children Services.

Here is what went down yesterday:

We’re providing respite care for another foster family in our agency at the end of the month. That basically just means we’re babysitting their foster kids for about 24 hours. My case worker had to come by the house so I could sign a paper stating what we’ve agreed to and that we have room for their two foster children.
After I signed the paper, she said,

“I have bad news. Chatham County called and they’ve discovered that the girls have family members living in Augusta and apparently they are just as crazy and dangerous as the birth parents. They no longer feel it would be safe to move them here. I’m sorry. It’s over.”

I was kind of numb for a few minutes. After she left, I teared up and literally shed one tear. I’ve known all along that this adoption has been on sinking sand. Between the girls’ family history and the unreliable people at DFCS in Savannah, nothing was guaranteed. But still, I’ve held onto hope, decorated their room, buying a few pieces of clothing here and there (on clearance of course!), and we’ve been praying for them by name daily for months. Here are some other thoughts and emotions I’ve encountered over the last several months:

As much as I looked forward to the girls coming, I also grieved over the thought of never being pregnant again. Josh always told me we could have another baby after the girls got here, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted six children. I also grieved over my foster parenting “career” being over. Once the girls got here, we wouldn’t be able to foster anymore because our house would be full. It didn’t feel like it should be over yet. We’ve only helped six children. It’s only been a year. As the news of the girls sunk in, the Lord began to give me hope and even joy. The girls will end up exactly where God intends them.

We are now an “open” foster home again and could get another placement any day now. We can still adopt! We can continue to pray that the Lord would lead us in whatever direction he wants our family to go. Whether it be to adopt from DFCS, adopt a future foster placement, or I can get pregnant again!! It took us a year to get pregnant with Owen and nothing guarantees that the Lord intends us to have anymore biological children, but at least I feel that door has been opened again.

All I know is that I have an aching heart for children; hurting children, needy children, foster children, orphan children, and now I know that my ministry to these children can continue. God is so good. His mercies are new every morning. He is my tower of refuge and strength.
Today, I will pack up all of the girlie clothes and items that are in the foster children’s’ room and return them to their rightful rubbermaid bin. We will no longer refer to that room as “the girls’ room“. Instead, it is a wrapped gift, unsure of what it will hold next.
I’m quite excited about what the next several months will hold. God’s word says He works all things together for good to those who love Him, and in my dictionary, “all” means “every, the whole of, the greatest possible”…it means ALL THINGS!

That is exciting.

Time for a cup of coffee.